I miss you, Hawaii. I miss so many things about you, and some days my heart is just really full of heartache and love for you. Some days I miss you so much it hurts to be away. Some days I try so hard to push out thoughts of you, but you keep coming back into my head. Maybe instead of blocking you out today I will write about you instead.
I miss sitting on the beach at dusk and waiting for the sun to set; for something red, orange and beautiful to transpire before my eyes. I miss the warmth of the sun on my face as I lay lazily in the sand. I miss running and diving into the water, watching my shadow swim below me in your crystal blue seas.
I miss the way the water sparkles and glows beneath the sunshine. I miss swimming out beyond your reefs and looking down at vast blue darkness. I miss waiting for dolphins to join me, then laughing at their dances. I miss the company of your fish. Colorful, magnificent, cute, little fish! I miss the way your Sea Turtles always snuck up behind me and scared me senseless in their silence. I miss swimming in your coves, holding my breath through your underwater caves. I miss diving for hours for sea shells in your reefs, after the calm of a big swell. I miss surfing. Oh how I miss surfing! I miss being out in the ocean for hours and breathing in freedom..... The smell, the sights, the sounds of your ocean, an easy escape for me. I miss the way the ocean could heal me from illness, and heartache.
I miss hiking in your jungles, and swimming in your waterfalls. I miss the rain. Yes, I even miss the rain. I miss eating mango, avocado, guava, and papaya from your trees. I miss the smell of my favorite flower, the Plumeria, blossoming in Spring. I miss stringing leis for friends and wearing leis on special occasions. I miss bonfires on your beach, with friends and loved ones. I miss sleeping in your sand and waking up to the sound of waves crashing. Those make the best dreams....
I miss being warm. I miss wearing pareos every day. I miss wearing a plumeria behind my ear just because. I miss Jah-waiian music, even if it gets annoying and overplayed on the radio. I miss real luaus, real Poly food, and real hula dancing. I miss speaking pidgin.
I miss those mornings when I woke up early and I was the only one on your beach. I watched the sun rise, I smelled the early ocean breezes, I jumped into your warm water, I found a few sea-shell treasures, and I came home ready to start the day. Refreshed, rejuvenated, and alive.
I miss you like a dear friend. Sometimes I ask myself, "How can I be a whole person here, when a piece of my heart is three thousand miles away?"
I guess missing you is a part of my life that isn't missing, if that makes any sense..
Kahuku grad, 1997
Top 2 pictures : 1. Waimea Bay where we grew up around the corner. 2. Three tables--the beach in front of my families house where I swam daily. :)
