Hilo to Portland to who knows where.......

We've been putting a lot of consideration into where our next move will be, and Hilo, HI has been on our list. Other places of interest are Portland, OR, and moving back to good old Cedar City, UT.
If you asked me where I would want to live for the rest of my life I would hands-down vote for a beautiful, beachfront property in Mokuleia, Oahu. If you haven't stepped onto the secluded beaches of Mokuleia, then imagine the most perfect, peaceful paradise, surrounded by crystal clear water, swaying palm trees, awesome surf, laid back people. I love it there. In fact, I love so many things about where I grew up. To me, the North Shore is home. All of my wonderful memories of Hawaii exist solely on the island Of Oahu, where I found a connection and love for the ocean that will stay with me forever. But, the housing market has risen so much over the years, that living on the North Shore isn't possible for us. It's too expensive--like a million dollars too expensive.

So, we looked towards the outer islands and found that Hilo is still affordable--we could buy a house and property in Hilo, which is what we want for our family. So, why not move to Hilo? It's Hawaii, right?
But, as I've been pondering and praying over this, I came to realize--it's not my Hawaii, and It's not my home. When I think of moving back to Hawaii, I don't think I could live anywhere else besides the North Shore of Oahu. And this may seem like crazy thinking, but why settle for somewhere that your not sure you'd like, when you know you could be happy in say...Portland, OR. Or what about going back to our beloved Cedar City, UT and settling on our land?

Right now we feel like our next big move we make, well, we want it to be it. I want to buy a house and raise my kids there for the next 100 years. I want to make marks in the walls of how tall they get. I want the security and comfort of a permanent address. I want to plant little, baby trees and watch them grow to be big, adult trees. I want our kids to put their hand prints in the newly-poured cement, and see it there 30 years later. I want a dog and some chickens. I want us to start working towards the goal of buying a home that we will love.

So, although we can't live in Mokuleia, a huge part of me wants to linger on the possibility of moving to Hilo, because I'm just not ready to completely let go of Hawaii! I think of all the awesome things I love about Hawaii--the ocean, the surf, the marine life, the rain forests, the bonfires, the laid back and diverse culture, the smell of the Plumerias blooming in Spring, teaching my boys how to surf......and I want that life. But I don't want Hilo.
So we've been looking into moving to Portland, which we both know we love. It's a beautiful place and I think we could be really happy there. And we could be happy in Cedar City, but who knows when there will be a job opening there for Micah.

Sometimes I just want someone to jump out of the bushes and tell us where we'd be happiest living; where our dreams are actually lying, waiting for us.